A typical day fishing (December 6-9, 2011)

[Slam goes front door]

Chris: “I think it might be warmer outside. I took my hands outside of my mitts to refuel the stove and they don’t ache. My hands, that is.”

Heidi: “Sweet. Let’s catch some fish!”

[15 minutes of dressing later]

[20 minutes of packing later]

[1.5 minutes of last-minute babybel-cramming later]

[30 minutes of snow machining later]

Heidi (yelling): “All I can smell is exhaust. Also, I’m starting to lose feeling in my right foot, despite foot warmers and these $200 boots.”

Chris: “Same here.”

Heidi: “They’re supposed to be good to -100C or -148F.”

Chris: “Thus, we can only conclude that it is below -148F. I hate it when that happens.”

[2 minutes later, after Heidi does windmills, karate kicks, and otherwise stomps around to get warm, and Chris warms up the GPS, we resume our positions on the snow machine]

[Repeat 30 minutes of snow machine, 2-6 minutes of warm up, several times]

Chris: “We’re here. Let’s drill some holes. Of course, this would be easier if we hadn’t broken the auger. I was told not to buy Eskimo augers.”

Heidi: “Why did you buy one, then?”

Chris: “They didn’t have any Jiffy augers in Anchorage. I would have had to go to Wasilla.”

Heidi: “Where the heck is that?”

Chris: “It’s where Sarah Palin is from.”

Heidi: “Okay, well, we have most of an auger. And we can operate it, as long as we divide the labour into holding the auger and operating the throttle.”

Chris: “This would also be easier if my thumb wasn’t permanently frozen.”

[After drilling holes, Heidi and Chris stare at each other]

Heidi’s brain to Chris’ brain: “So……who’s going to take off their mitts and put the bait on the hooks?”

Chris’ brain to Heidi’s brain: “Someone also has to operate a pair of pliers. This will be next to impossible.”

Heidi’s brain and Chris’ brain: “Both will take mitts off.”

[35 minutes later, all tip-ups are set, and Heidi is jigging. Chris is going from hole to hole and slushing. Holes tend to freeze up quickly on this lake (quelle surprise)]

[20 minutes later, Heidi and Chris switch, without saying anything. Repeat several times.]

Heidi: “I think I’m hungry. All of my snacks are frozen in my pocket. Also, I don’t want to take off my mitt to get into my pocket.”

Chris: “I think the lake trout have been extirpated from this lake.”

Heidi: “Time to cut bait and return to the land of zucchini casserole and a stove???”

[Repeat most of first half of this post. Substitute playing tag for windmills and karate kicks]