The Pump

As some of you may remember, when we arrived here there was ONE pump for the leaky red boat, and it had to stay with the rescue boat [read: safety pancake]. Mike Braeuer shipped us a pump overnight, and the above photo shows what we did to ensure that it was not purloined. Nancy spent the better part of a weather morning on this.

On the day it arrived, we carried Super Pump everywhere around camp.

Heidi: “ I don’t want to put this pump down. Where will we store it?”
Nancy: “When one tires, the other one will carry.”

Super Pump, we thought, was not going to be useful once we got our new boat. Sadly, the new boat had no need of a pump because it held air about as well as a colander. So, Super Pump’s value sky-rocketed.

Yesterday, we arrived at LRB at Roberts Lake to find that a bear had ransacked the place. One dead float, many scratched floats, bear hair in boat, gill nets upended, etc etc. We walked over to LRB in trepidation…..had the bear ate Super Pump? Pumps have been eaten before…..

Nancy: “PHEW! Luckily, the bear read the death note! Okay, I’m going to turn the escape pancake back into an escape pod.”

Heidi: “Good idea. As we know, the key to a good bear strategy is an escape pod. [Counts floats]. Sigh. Good thing Mike gave us extras!! We should tell those bear DNA folks to fly over here. Actually, maybe they should just follow us around.”

Before the hurricane

Days 2 and 3 at Nauyuk


Day 2 at Nauyuk Lake dawned clear-ish and calm-ish, and the extremely leaky red boat arrived at approximately 1 pm. By 5, we were setting nets. True, we could see air bubbles coming out of the pontoons, but this was not a problem as long as we kept on top of the pump situation. Which, thanks to Mike Braeuer, we could. The pump deserves its own post, but that will come later. ☺

So, after catching some fish, we put them on strings on processing island (along with the nets – to avoid attracting bears), and headed back to camp. The next morning dawned hurricaney. Winds were gusting to 50 knots, and Doris Camp reported that they were getting blown off of the mountain. After hemming and hawing, we decided that we could get the nets and fish from the island (it’s quite close to the cabin), but we could not set any nets. So, processing began! First challenge: how to weigh fish parts on a sensitive digital scale in a hurricane.

Hank: “Well, Jim, I think the only way around this is to set up the tent. I’d rather not do this because it’s my own personal tent and is likely to become completely covered in fish guts, but I think it’s our only option.”

Jim: “Hmmmm. I think you might be right. Is that the lake blowing off the lake?”

Hank: “Yes.”

So, we took Mark down to American beach where there are drums and a giant piece of wood (rare commodities) to cut fish on, and asked him to scope out a slightly more sheltered spot to set up the tent. We saw him shake the tent out of the bag, and we were a tad concerned. But hey, Mark camps all the time. What could possibly go wrong?

Approximately halfway to the island to get the nets and fish, Nancy’s eyes got REALLY wide.

“HOLY SHIT!!”

Expecting to see a bear and preparing herself for it, Heidi turned toward shore. Whereupon she witnessed her $400 Nunatuk 4-season MEC tent cartwheeling across the tundra and cliffs and headed for the drink. Revving the ELRB as high as possible, she beat it toward shore at an angle of interception. Nancy, oblivious to her personal safety, launched herself out of the boat in an attempt to tackle the tent. Unfortunately, the water was over her waders. However, she avoided the abyss by somehow grabbing onto a boat handle and literally catapulting herself toward shore.

Heidi: “NANCY!!! Look BEFORE you leap!!!”

Nancy: “It’s the raft guide in me!!!!”

After successfully tacking the tent and surveying the damage (one large rip in the nylon, one medium rip in the nylon, and one damaged pole), we looked up to see Mark beating it over the cliffs.

“Windy.”

Good grief.

Let’s take stock. One ELRB, one plug in cooler that is a box, one bag of cookies and danishes from the kind people at camp, one bag of emergency jelly beans from Jill, 10 L of kerosene, two sooty stoves, a hurricane, and one damaged tent.

But no bears!! And no bugs, either.

Arrival at Nauyuk

Arrivals at Nauyuk tend not to be dull (please see previous entries from 2007 and 2008). This year proved to be no exception. After waiting for good enough weather for 1.5 PAINFUL days, we circled above Nauyuk and I noticed the cabin looked….different. That’s because a bear had ripped the front door out by the frame. There was insulation everywhere, siksik poo everywhere, it smelled like bear pee, the stove was on its side on the floor, 1/3 of the ceiling was down, a bunch of vapour barrier was down, etc etc. Basically, there was a giant mess.

Heidi to Mark: “Well, Mark, looks like we have some fixing to do.”

Mark: “Heh…. yep!”

Pilot to Nancy: “Are you sure you girls are going to be okay here?”

Nancy: “Oh, COME ON! Just because we’re out here in the middle of nowhere doesn’t mean we have lost our domestic skills. We’ll have this place fixed up in no time.”

Heidi: “Let’s take stock. Our stash of nails has been stolen. We have no broom. In other news, the windows have fallen out of the door, and the door is a pancake on the tundra. On the bright side, the frame is still in one piece.”

Mark to Nancy: “Nancy, let’s go to Walmart.”

So, Nancy and Mark take off down to the other camps in search of goods. Heidi, in the meantime, takes apart what is left of the freezer outside (see previous entry where she stripped the wiring) and the fridge inside in order to scavenge screws. Mark and Nancy come back grinning. They have found a box of nails, and have taken the middle screw out of every hinge in every door at the other camps. They have also scared up the brooms that Heidi and Marilynn used in previous years.

Two hours later, we had a frame, a door, and the windows were being held by Tuck Tape. The inside still smelled slightly of bear pee, but otherwise we were in good shape. It was time to haul stuff up to the cabin. It turned out, upon inspection, that our plug-in cooler (shipped in its original packaging) had arrived without its cord. This effectively rendered it a box. No matter, we had brought a GIANT stash of icepacks and an Xtreme Cooler for just such an eventuality.

So, the time came to inflate the boat. We had been gloating for the previous 2 days about how we had a boat shipped overnight from Edmonton to camp, to replace the leaky red boat (which had become the extremely leaky red boat). We had tested to make sure that the floor boards fit, and had inflated it half way. Assured that the boat was pressure-tested, we packed it up in the pouring rain and shipped it to Nauyuk.

Ah, fools we be.

After each of us pumping for what seemed like an eternity, Mark started circling the boat. Nancy and Heidi stopped pumping. And listened. It was not so much a hiss they they heard, but a gush. Nancy knelt down near the bow of the boat and pressed on a pontoon. Her face got closer. And closer.

Nancy: “Well!! There’s your problem, Hank!”

There was a 2-inch gash in the seam of our recently-shipped boat. The leak was so bad that the boat wouldn’t even inflate. While Nancy attempted to patch it (we knew this would be unsuccessful, but hey, might as well give it a whirl), Heidi phoned camp.

“Hi Jill, this is Heidi. Ummmm. If you could somehow get us the extremely leaky red boat, that would be great. The thing is, that one at least deflates after inflating, instead of just refusing to inflate in the first place.”

Jill, bless her for all eternity, assured us in extremely comforting tones that the boat would be flown out that night or the next morning. Somewhat deflated (literally) at this point, we decided that the best course of action would be to call it a long day and have some supper.

This, also, turned out to be slightly more difficult than originally anticipated. Surprisingly.

A few weeks earlier, Heidi had asked for some white gas to be shipped to camp. This is a dangerous good and takes some special handling, so folks in Yellowknife had kindly agreed to take care of this. The fuel arrived in its dangerous goods packaging, and thinking that we should leave it in that packaging for the sling to Nauyuk (to prevent leaks), that is exactly what we did.

Ah, fools we be.

It was kerosene, NOT white gas.

Now, kerosene will burn in Heidi’s MSR stoves, but not well, and not unless you change the fuel jets. Being too tired to read the label properly, Heidi did notice that the fuel did not light well and was sootier than all heck. When the stove erupted into a giant fireball and she just about lit the cabin on fire, she deduced that this was NOT white gas. A phone call to Erik later and the digging out of her instruction manuals and stove maintenance kits (which she did have) resulted in a sooty Heidster, changed fuel jets, and stoves that would work…….with a lot of patience.

“Let’s take stock. We have a bear-ravaged cabin, a plug-in cooler that is effectively a box, stoves that smoke like a hot damn, and absolutely no way to float. It is day 9 in the field. RATS AND SQUIRRELS! But the door is back on. And mom’s zucchini casserole is amazing. Even if I may or may not have added some carbon.”

Nauyuk is as beautiful and peaceful as ever. No bears yet! (Only the evidence thereof).

Hmmmmm. It has turned to 'Fogust'

This term was coined by Maury, one of our pilots, and relayed to me by Angela. The weather, unlike that shown in the photo above (our first night - we're staying on the barge to the right), has turned, well, craptacular! We are scheduled to leave for Nauyuk tomorrow, but we will see if the ceiling is high enough. Once again, we will be employing the dual helicopter strategy, where an A-star slings our gear and we follow in the long ranger. We have Mark on board again (hopefully - he should turn up tomorrow), a whole bunch of Heidi-friendly food, a boat that FLOATS AND an accompanying pump, and enough gill nets to hopefully catch some fish!!

I anticipate, however, that the tough will have to get going. Not going to lie - the weather is NOT pleasant. In previous years, Kathryn and I adopted song-writing as a coping skill. Marilynn and I had alter egos - Beatrice and Rosie, of course. Nancy and I have also adopted alter egos - Hank and Jim. It all started with us figuring something out and me saying to Nancy, "Well, there's your problem, Hank!" After looking at me strangely, shaking her head, and taking a bite of the stale marshmallow square in her pocket, she said, "That's right, Jim! The problem here is that your patches have been ripped off and replaced with duct tape (true story!)."

So, if you don't hear from us until August 25th, this is a good thing. If you do, at least we can take our boat that floats and go fishing somewhere near by!!!

- Hank and Jim

Heidi taking one in the chin and dissecting a disgusting carcass with tools from the first aid kit - excellent potential for large otoliths

Return of the Leaky Red Boat (or is it final death for the leaky red boat?)

So loyal blog readers, you’ve waited a long time for this post. Three years in fact. This year, it’s Nancy and I, and we’re back at Hope Bay. Things are looking a little different around here. There is an airstrip, roads, a giant camp (or is it a rat maze?), and even MORE safety rules. A girl can’t go anywhere without PPE on around here.

Anyway, Nancy and I arrived on Friday, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Even 1.5 days of safety orientations did not dampen our spirits. At one point, Nancy even said, “Wow, this place seems really organized.”

Ah, fools we be.

If you cannot remember the story of the leaky red boat (LRB), please refer to previous blog entries. Suffice to say that LRB has seen its share of service. It may or may not have encountered the following things in its long, long life: a) attack by grizzly; b) slung into broken piece of drill stem; c) picked up with a fork lift and dragged across beach.

Anyhoo, LRB was supposed to be less leaky (we were dubious, but chose to believe). In fact, rumour had it that LRB had been replaced. On Saturday afternoon, after safety orientation 375647c, Pants (i.e., Nance) and I headed down to the location of the boat. Our guide proudly announced in a Newfie accent, “I’s soaped her all down good, and look at this – she’s rock hard!” At this point, Pants and I looked at each other dubiously. Why? Our eyes said to each other, “I hear hissing, do you hear hissing?” Foolishly choosing to ignore this ominous sound, we prepared ourselves for a Sunday am departure.

Sunday am dawns. Pants and Heids head to the helipad and look at the boat. It’s flat as a pancake. No worries. We’ll pump it up.

Ah, fools we be.

The original armada of boats is unfortunately not accompanied by the original armada of pumps. There is ONE pump with ONE correct attachment. Unfortunately, new safety regulations require that said pump stay with the ‘rescue’ boat that lives in a sling ready to rescue people at a moment’s notice. [Sidenote: rescue boat is also currently flat as a pancake].

Pants and I are undeterred, know we will figure something out, and head to the 730 safety meeting.

Direct quote from Nancy after the meeting, “Heidi, I’ve never really understood why people think The Office is funny. I understand now.”

Chair of meeting: “Heidi, do you have any safety concerns for today?”

I really did ponder my next words carefully. I knew what I should say, and then there was what I did say.

“Well. My boat’s flat as a pancake, and it’s going to sink like a rock to the bottom of the lake.”

[Nancy bursts out laughing, only to realize that nobody else is laughing.]

“So. I guess I’ll deal with that.”

Seeing that half of western civilization is up on this patch of tundra this year, we were informed that ‘The Fountain Tire Guy’ would patch our boat. We waited for a day. We visited Roberts Outflow, caught some char, did the same thing again, had a somewhat humorous electrofishing experience. No patched boat. These two prairie girls decided to take matters into their own hands.

“Nance. I’m going to try to get a pump flown in from Golder. Yes, I know I have no way to pay for said pump and we are not working for Golder this year. However, I think this is our best shot.”

Nancy: “Agreed.”

At which point, Nancy, with her considerable experience patching rubber boats, patched the rubber boat. This was not easy. All of the repair kits on site were well past their glue-by date. We used bike tire patches that we brought from Edmonton. After 5 hours of patching, Nancy declared the job a success. With baited breath, we left the boat to cure, and decided to check this morning if it was holding air. In the meantime, and as if by a miracle of god, Mike from the warehouse at Golder got us a pump. We don’t know how. Also, he sent us a candy necklace. We owe Mike many, many cheeseburgers.

Fast forward to this morning.

“Hey Nance, why don’t you go check the boat, and I’ll do up the journey plan and track our still-missing generator, white gas, and blue Rubbermaid.”

Nance: “Cool.”

Heidi was halfway through figuring out where the erstwhile generator may or may NOT be, when Nancy returned.

“Heidi, the boat’s gone.”

“What do you mean, the boat is GONE?”

“The boat’s gone.”

After staring at each other and laughing hysterically (it is Tuesday, and we arrived on Friday and have still not seen the water), we go down to find the dude who might know what’s gone on.

“Oh, sorry there girls….I forgot to tell the tire guy not to pick up the boat.”

The boat had been picked up by the tire guy. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that he removed every last patch from that boat, and that it was unlikely to be in service any time soon. This discovery may or may not have involved us hitchhiking a ride in a cube van and wandering around asking where the tire shop was. A particularly memorable response was,

“What’s a tire?”

So, you may ask, what are we going to do? Well, of course any rescue mission must involve Mike at Golder. Angela (formerly Golder, now our Newmont contact!) moved heaven and earth and other planetary units and arranged for this to be a legal and paid operation, via Claire (who I would imagine is laughing as I type this).

So. We have a pump. Mike, bless him forever, was going to drive our boat to the Edmonton airport tonight or have it picked up at the crack of stupid tomorrow morning. It will arrive by Buffalo on Thursday. We are scheduled to leave with Mark for Nauyuk on FRIDAY.

Quotes from Mike, “Boat…boat….Heidi, not sure if we have one. How soon do you need it? Stupid question. Yesterday, right? Boat….boat…..here’s one! And I just got an email that said I’m authorized to send this. Don’t worry, Heidi, we’ll get there. Sometimes we get to the finish line upside down and on fire, but we’ll get there.”

Know what’s great? We haven’t been able to test the motor.

What could be possibly go wrong?

Nothing, because quite obviously, this is the easiest thing we’ll ever do.

Pants and Heids

PS. Don’t worry, mom – we’ve bribed the cook and I am eating actual food.